I want to talk about single shaming because it’s a thing
that happens and I’m single so I should know. Maybe you’re a well meaning friend, maybe you’re a family member who
just wants to understand why it is they are still unattached or a co-worker who thinks the single girl in the office is ‘one of
those’, whatever the reason, let me assure you it never feels nice to the
person who is the object of your observations, scrutiny or ridicule.
As a 35 year old single woman I’ve heard it all and with
every year comes more pressure followed by the comments….."Just find someone
already", "stop being so picky", "you’re not giving it enough effort", blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. It seems as soon as someone has a significant other
suddenly it means they have all the wisdom when it comes to relationships,
utter rubbish!
Don’t misunderstand me, advice is something to take into
consideration, but when it comes to something like love and companionship there
is no one size fits all formula. What
worked for you or your friend from down the street won’t necessarily be the key
to my success. The thing is, people can
only view someone through the very limited lens of their own experiences. Without having full knowledge of the other persons own experiences, perceptions, roadblocks, beliefs or desires then how can they ever truly have the
capacity to 'help' them. Many attached individuals don’t really know how they stumbled upon love themselves anyway, but what I find most
offensive is their belief that the same thing can’t possibly happen to you or
that you need some sort of roadmap or you’ll run out of time.
Yes it’s true, I’m single, and yes I do want to find someone
special to share my life with but please don’t think I am incapable of
finding my own way to love in my own time.
I am not naive, I am not too picky, I am not delusional and I am not
your project.
So please, enough already!
