Life's Struggles

I started writing this blog and realised it was a bit self indulgent so I deleted it again in hope that I could write something that actually got to the core of things.  I guess I was given a wake up call a week or two ago, but it's not the first time, I've had wakeup calls before but I guess I shrugged them off.  I remember when I was a young child, I thought all those bad things in life would happen to someone else and not to me or those closest to me but I was wrong, life throws us curve balls all the time and some people it seems are dealt a tougher hand than others.  I have questioned in the past why this happens but then I remember that even though you can't visibly see everyones pain it doesn't mean it's anything less than another persons.  I'd love to say everything happens for a reason but what good would that do, if you said that to someone who is in the thick of it, they'd give you the whats for and trod off in a huff.  Sometimes I think spirituality can help with the struggle to find understanding, but in saying that I think a lot of people practice it almost as a way to insure some sort of immunity, they believe if they pray hard enough and be good than things will go their way, when things go awry they curse God and cry out "Why me?"The answer could be addressed with another question,"Well, why not you?  Why anyone? If you really think about it, if life was roses all the time, would we actually learn anything at all??

There's no doubt that life can be unpredictable but when the chips are down I think it gives us time to revaluate what is really important and what makes us happy.  Although we think we may have a thousand tomorrows, it's never guaranteed.  I believe effectively what determines a great life is having none of those should've, could've and would'ves hanging around at the end and knowing that you remained true to who you are and what you wanted.

The "Why Me?" Mentality

"Why Me?!"…How many times do you think someone says that behind closed doors? 

I have a friend that relayed to me a really great quote "Never compare your behind the scenes to someone else's showreel".  How right that statement is!  In this day an age we are bombarded with images on screen or  in magazines of perfect people with perfect bodies that have perfect partners and live perfect lives, how are we supposed to feel even remotely adequate?  Yes, there are things out there that counteract these unrealistic ideals but I dare say not enough.  Pressure is everywhere,  just look around at our society, people are killing themselves trying to reach certain ideals, gyms are full, fad diets are all the go and cosmetic procedures to improve ones appearance are seen as normal.  But don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad to look after yourself, work out or look your best but I wonder how many people are actually doing it for themselves rather than others.

We often read about those lucky few who seem to have it made, but some (not all) of those people we look to become drug addicts and alcoholics because they are unfulfilled, they thought that getting to where they are and being adored would make them feel better, but it didn't, so what else can they fall back on but something that can numb the emptiness.

But it's not just the celebrities, in everyday life, we parade our best selves and assets to each other, hoping nobody sees our flaws, most are successful in this endeavour but there's an unhealthy chain reaction that can occur, because those you impress may go home and look at themselves in the mirror and feel second rate.

Today it's not seen as cool to be vulnerable, partly because it triggers feelings of vulnerability in others, that they may not want, or be ready to feel.  Sometimes instead of support you may get a weird look or a verbal attack on how embarrassed they feel for you, making you feel alienated for simply trying to be authentic and honest.  It takes a lot of courage to lay your cards out,  often it is the brave souls however that are a lot happier in the long run.

I have IBS and I've battled with it and tried to hide it many times in the past, but it took some women who were brave enough to speak up and demystified it that have made me realise I shouldn't feel so ashamed about it.  So I just want to say thank you to those women and I want to say thank you to all the brave souls who lay their cards out, good on you!!  You may not realise how many people you are helping but you really do make a difference!! :-)

Links that may be of interest

IBS blog and youtube testimony
https://youtu.be/CYGbQ_QQF-A
http://ibsrachel.blogspot.com.au

Remember Ryan White? Such a brave boy!!
http://ibsrachel.blogspot.com.au

How brave and beautiful is this girl!
https://youtu.be/NHaWi6MMx0k

The Red Dress Project, so courageous!!
https://www.facebook.com/underthereddress